My Futile Attempts to Sleep

A light-hearted look at some of my experiences

I don’t know why sleep is so difficult for some autistic people. For me, I tend to just lie there, awake and focusing on replaying things that I’ve done or said, either from earlier that day, or ten or twenty years ago.

I’ve tried a lot of things to get some sleep, and some of them are kind of funny. So, I thought I’d share these as part of a more light-hearted article, because I know there have been some more serious topics on the blog recently, and probably will be more over the next few months.

One thing someone recommended to me was a Calm Carry. This is a device that you hold in your hand and it sends small electrical pulses to the acupuncture points in your palm. For sleeping, you hold it in your left hand, and to help with anxiety during the day, you hold it in your right hand.

So far, I’ve used it to try to sleep more than for anxiety, because I’m usually more anxious outside, but feel too self-conscious about using it in public.

Anyway, it got to the point where I found it too distracting to sleep, even though the pulses aren’t painful and it’s not like I’m being zapped and am jolting around on the bed, but it is enough of a distraction to stop me sleeping, instead of helping like it’s meant to.

So, the other thing I got was a white noise machine that has 25 different sounds that are all meant to help with sleep. The water sounds are off the list as I had to keep getting up to use the toilet because of the sound of running water.

I thought the fire crackling noise might be nice, like it might make me feel cosy and drift off. I guess I was wrong, because as I started to fall asleep, my brain decided now was a good time to tell me that if there was a real fire in my room, I might not realise and would just think it was the sound from the noise machine!

As it turns out, being electrocuted and imagining that my room might be on fire aren’t conducive to getting sleep. I mean, who could have known that?

One thing stopping me from sleeping is the uncomfortable bed, so I bought a mattress topper, which made it a little more comfortable, but still didn’t help much. So, I tried sleep gummies, which taste nice, but do very little, so they are more like expensive sweets.

Recently, I tried meditation just before bed, and found myself falling asleep, even when sat up. Yet, as soon as I turn off my phone, switch the light off and lie down, I’m awake again.

The only night I’ve actually slept properly during the past few weeks was when there was an all-night rave near where I live, and I slept straight through all the noise. So, now I’m starting to wonder if I should just bring my sleeping bag to a rave and find a corner to sleep in. Maybe it will work. Or maybe not…